On an otherwise normal day in October, 2 percent of the world’s population disappears in an instant. That’s the premise of the HBO show “The Leftovers,” which began its second season this week. Throughout the show’s depressing first season, I couldn’t help but comparing the “departure,” as the event is known, to abortion. Abortion has caused the departure of more than 17 percent of Americans, so that’s not the similarity. The show doesn’t spend much time trying to figure out where these lost 2 percenters have gone. Instead, the focus is on how those left behind are carrying on without them. That’s where I see abortion’s ghost. One first season episode slaps viewers right in the face with its abortion plot device. Laurie, a well-to-do psychiatrist with a healthy family – dad is the police chief, a teenage son and daughter seem well-adjusted – has become so damaged by the departure that she joins a strange cult known as the Guilty Remnant, whose mission is to remind everyone of what they have lost. Three-quarters of way through the season, by the time we are sure her family remained intact, we discover that on that fateful day, Laurie was at her ob-gyn’s office making a decision about whether or not to abort her late-in-life unplanned pregnancy. And then the departure happened, and the baby on the ultrasound screen is gone. Laurie suffered from post-abortion guilt without even having an abortion. But her guilt stems, in my opinion, from being willing to lose this child, while all around her are heartbroken parents who would do anything to have their departed children returned. One main character, Nora, lost her whole family – husband and two kids – and is only brought back from the brink when she finds a baby in the season one finale. But Sunday night’s season opener, which brought us all the way back to Cro Magnon man to demonstrate the fierce bond between mother and child, also brought a new title sequence, one that all but bowled me over. It illustrates exactly what we’ve been saying since January through the Silent No More Awareness Campaign’s Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion initiative: Abortion impacts a wide circle of victims. The sequence shows a montage of family portraits, but in each one, the “departed” is seen as a ghostly spectre. Life goes on, but that missing family member is always missed, and mourned. The same is true of abortion. The child who is lost is never forgotten by those who know about the abortion. But even those who don’t know about the abortion sense the loss of that child. We know that because so many people who have learned they had siblings, grandchildren or other close relatives killed by abortion have told us that they always felt a loss they couldn’t quite define. Abortion has caused much more of an upheaval in our society than the departure. But you will never see a show on HBO about it. Learn more about this wider circle of victims at www.abortionshockwaves.com.
Archive for the ‘abortion survivors’ Category
It comes as no surprise that some pro-abortion feminists are finding they can’t quite bring themselves to tell their children about their own abortions. This story in Yahoo News is an important read and I hope you can all find the time to read it in its entirety. But some lines jumped out at me and I would like to talk about those.
The author, Raven Snook, is a writer who emcees burlesque shows, according to her website. The fact that she’s so edgy, so out there, makes it very telling that even she couldn’t answer her 9-year-old daughter when she asked if she had ever been pregnant before.
I’ve never been secretive about my abortion. My friends and family know and I’ve even performed a monologue about it onstage. I’m unabashedly pro-choice and I’ve talked with my child in an age-appropriate manner about sex, pregnancy, birth control, and the fact that women have the right to decide if and when they become mommies. Yet when it came to revealing my own abortion — a necessary conversation so that my daughter views it as a personal choice, not a political one — I panicked.
Could it be she was worried her daughter wouldn’t see the intentional killing of her older sibling as either a political choice or a personal one but would instead discern the truth? That this child, with the same 23 chromosomes and maybe the same eyes and smile, was killed simply because he or she was inconvenient?
Ms. Snook mentions that she threw herself into mothering her chosen child “with zeal.” Could it be that, having shown her daughter her super-mom side, she can’t find the words to explain how one of her children could be so different from the next. How on earth do you say, “I aborted your sibling, but oh darling, I really wanted to have you! That is a terrifying thing for a child to hear. What might happen, they wonder, if they fail to measure up to Mommy Dearest’s expectations? What happens if they become inconvenient?
The fact that Ms. Snook’s daughter asked the question in the first place is an indication she already had intuited that someone was missing from their family portrait. Sibling survivors often do. The Canadian psychiatrist and abortion trauma expert Dr. Philip Ney once told me a story about a woman who brought her daughter to him to get to the cause of her bed wetting. In a private conversation, the mother told Dr. Ney she had had two abortions before giving the right to life to this daughter. When the doctor asked the girl to draw a picture of her family, she drew a family with three children.
In April, our new Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion initiative at Silent No More will focus on sibling survivors like Ms. Snook’s daughter. In an interview that can be heard at www.abortionshockwaves.com Dr. Ney said considerable research has been done on sibling survivors of abortion.
“It’s quite clear that children are affected,” he said. “They have existential guilt that they shouldn’t be alive when their siblings were aborted. They feel guilty for existing. They don’t trust people. They have pseudo-secrets. They have a long list of difficult problems.” Dr. Ney also talks of how abortion can afflict families for generations: The grandmother has had an abortion, the mother has had an abortion, the daughter has or will have an abortion.
This phenomenon also impacts sibling survivors. “Abortion survivors don’t want to have children,” he said. If they don’t deal with their feelings, they can grow up into narcissistic adults, modeling the behavior that led their mother or father, or both, to see their older sibling as inconvenient and disposable.
In the Yahoo News story, Ms. Snook quotes another post-abortion pro-choice mother about her experience when she told her two kids, including a 10-year-old son, about their missing sibling.
After discussing sperm banks and pregnancy, the topic turned to abortion, specifically hers. “‘It’s one of the choices people can make if they get pregnant and can’t take care of the baby for whatever reason,’ I told them. I felt the whole temperature of the car change. Maybe I was projecting but I saw a look pass on his face that went ‘whoa.’ The statement made an impact. But being open about it, you normalize it.”
Her last statement, about normalizing the experience, is nothing but wishful thinking on her part. But the temperature of the car changing and the look on his face? Those were spot-on observations.
It is my hope that Ms. Snook will one day seek healing for her abortion just like many women do on a daily basis as they visit our website www.AbortionForgiveness.com where they can find an abortion recovery program in their area. Also, Dr. Ney has written about how to tell your child about your abortion and you can view his work at www.Messengers2.com. Remember, to a child, there is nothing normal about the murder of their brother or sister. Children know right from wrong.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The year 2014 saw the first “abortion rom-com” in theaters, heard the head of Planned Parenthood express the goal of making pro-life political candidates “unacceptable,” and endured a relentless assault by an anti-life movement that seeks to recast abortion as a social good.
Abortion is not a social good, and in 2015, the Silent No More Awareness Campaign will demonstrate that through a new project called Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion. The aim of Shockwaves is to reach out to those impacted by the loss of a child through abortion: Parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, abortion clinic workers and even the abortionists themselves.
The project will be announced at a press conference Thursday, Jan. 8 at 1 p.m. in the Murrow Room at the National Press Club, 529 14th St. NW. The official launch for Shockwaves will be at the annual Silent No More gathering in front of the U.S. Supreme Court building during the March for Life on Jan. 22.
The Supreme Court decision to legalize abortion was like a series of powerful nuclear devices detonated in January 1973 in Washington, D.C. The damage done by an explosion is not only in the initial impact, but in the invisible shockwaves that ripple out from the epicenter. We often fail to see the radioactive fallout from 55 million abortions but the new initiative aims to make Americans aware of the powerful and destructive shockwaves that have wounded our nation in ways that we are only beginning to fully understand.
“Each individual abortion procedure is an explosive event in the lives of the mother and father and those closely connected to that decision,” said Father Frank Pavone, National Director of Priests for Life and Pastoral Director for Silent No More. “The shockwaves not only deeply touch the mother and father but all those who are part of abortion decisions and procedures. They extend out into the lives that they will touch as their unresolved grief and loss impact their future relationships, their marriage and family lives. This can and does reach deeply into our society — our schools, our health care and legal systems, our economy and our communities.”
Every month throughout 2015, Shockwaves will reach out to a group that has been directly impacted by abortion loss, with helpful information, resources, and referrals to abortion-recovery programs.
January will focus on “Healing through the Church.” February will recognize Black History Month to offer “Healing the Black Family.” March will put the focus on grandparents, while April will take a look at how the shockwaves have impacted the siblings. Mother’s Day in May and Father’s Day in June provide opportunities to focus on those at the epicenter, the parents who lose children to abortion.
“The new aim of the pro-choice movement is to convince women and men that abortion is the very best thing they can do for themselves and their future,” said Georgette Forney, President of Anglicans for Life and co-founder of Silent No More. “But I can tell you from experience that the abortion I had as a teenager was not the best thing I could have done for myself. It was the worst, and it impacted my parents, my future husband and our daughter.”
Janet Morana, Executive Director of Priests for Life and co-founder of Silent No More, was unaware for years that she had lost a grandchild to abortion.
“When I look at my two precious grandchildren now, I often think of their cousin who’s missing,” she said. “It’s heartbreaking to think of what my family lost, and what my daughter went through. The shockwaves of that abortion have reverberated throughout my family, and there are families like mine all over our wounded nation.”
The theme for July will be “Healing the Survivors and Friends,” followed by “Healing the Abortion Providers” in August. Family will be the theme for September, with a focus on Hispanic families in October.
“Healing Pro-Lifers” will be the theme for November.
“Those who stand outside abortion clinics, on the front lines of this battle, also need healing,” said Kevin Burke, LSW, co-founder of Rachel’s Vineyard and head of Silent No More’s Fatherhood Forever initiative. “So do those who work in pregnancy resource centers, and others who counsel abortion-vulnerable women. Every woman who chooses abortion represents a deep and personal loss to these people who are so committed to life. They feel the shockwaves most acutely.”
December will be devoted to seeking healing through Jesus Christ.
“When a spiritual and emotional healing program safely opens the abortion wound to the light of Christ, there are miraculous encounters with the Lord,” said Dr. Alveda King, director of African-American Outreach for Priests for Life and a spokeswoman for the Silent No More Awareness Campaign. “We hope that by the end of the Shockwaves year, we have made a start in healing the heart of our nation.”
The Silent No More Awareness Campaign is clearly on the radar of the pro- abortion movement. Since 2002, Silent No More has been equipping men and women across our nation to share the truth of the devastation abortion unleashed in their lives. The pro-aborts are pushing back with campaigns to “affirm” abortion and “normalize” this procedure as a safe and benign rite of passage in many women’s lives. Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion will counter these efforts with the truth.
I’m just catching up to the news that Jane Fonda and her brother, Peter Fonda, are abortion survivors. Their mother, who was sexually abused by a piano tuner as a child and physically abused by her two husbands, George Brokaw and Henry Fonda, had nine abortions before Jane was born and finally took her own life.
In one of her books and at an event last month, Ms. Fonda said that when she learned of the sexual abuse that began when her mother was just a child, she was able to forgive her for the suicide that left her without a mother at the age of 12.
Ms. Fonda is less forthcoming on what she thinks about the nine abortions, except to say they played a role in Francis Fonda’s ultimate act of desperation.
Perhaps her near-silence on her mother’s abortions can be explained by Jane Fonda’s vocal support of abortion over the last several decades. If she’s advocating free and open access to the very thing that contributed to her mother’s suicide, that’s a clear indication she’s in denial.
Pro-aborts love to say there is no link from abortion to suicide, and though they raked researcher Priscilla Coleman over the coals when she uncovered a substantial link, the fact cannot be hidden forever.
In a 2010 study, researchers from the National Center for Biotechnology Information – which works hand in hand with the National Institutes of Health – found that abortion was associated with an increased likelihood of several mental disorders, including anxiety, substance abuse, suicidal ideation and attempted suicide.
But beyond the abortion-suicide link, Francis Fonda’s multiple abortions very likely fueled the problems Jane Fonda experienced and has often discussed: Low self-esteem, poor body image, eating disorders and other problems.
Dr. Philip Ney, a Canadian psychiatrist who is an expert on survivor syndrome following abortion, has written that surviving children – including those who know only intuitively that they have lost siblings to abortion –can develop a “wanted” mentality that makes them see themselves as objects and not people. They become possessions, and as such are expected to meet the expectations of those around them. These children are trying to be the perfect child in order to prove their worth to their parents.
Jane’s pro-abortion activism also might be a direct result of her mother’s nine abortions and subsequent suicide. Abortion researchers have long proposed that the high rate of repeat abortions is a result of post-traumatic re-enactment, an unconscious coping mechanism that prompts people to repeat an experience, even if it was terrible, as a way of justifying it, or normalizing it.
Maybe one way Jane tried to make sense of her mother’s tortured past was to try to normalize it by advocating abortion as a good thing, as a right to which every woman is entitled.
Jane Fonda’s recent musings, including a blog she maintains on her website, indicate that as she ages, she is growing more introspective. She has apologized for her controversial meeting with North Vietnamese soldiers during the Vietnam War and even advocates for abstinence in her book “Being a Teen.” Perhaps we can look forward to a day when she will change her pro-abortion views and honestly discuss what it felt like to learn that she was not one of two children, but one of 11.
When she’s ready to take that step, I hope she will seek healing and finally find the peace that has eluded her.