From The Blaze:
Grammy-winning singer Toni Braxton has revealed the intense guilt she felt after having a secret abortion more than 10 years ago.
Without healing of abortion loss, the intense guilt, shame and grief many women feel can lead to a twisting of their image of God. Braxton reveals how women can take their guilt, grief and fear of punishment for their sin and project those powerful feelings on to God twisting his image from one of a loving, merciful Father/Creator into an angry, revenge-extracting tyrant:
Braxton, who married Lewis in 2001 and divorced him in 2013, admits in her new memoir, “Unbreak My Heart,” that she felt immense guilt after the abortion, especially considering her strict, Christian upbringing. Braxton went on to have children with Lewis, though the termination had a profound impact on her perspective. She later had two sons — Diezel, 11, who is autistic, and 12-year-old Denim. The singer found herself wondering whether Diezel’s autism was God’s retribution for her decision to end the earlier pregnancy and whether her parents’ messy divorce and her lupus diagnosis in 2010 were additional punishments. “Is God punishing me for that abortion?,” she writes in the book, noting that she found herself thinking that it was “God’s payback to give my son autism.”
God did not strike her son with autism as some sort of divine payback for her abortion. However her Lupus diagnosis may be related to the ongoing emotional and spiritual stress, the guilt shame and complicated grief of her abortion stressing her immune system as she struggled to parent her autistic son amidst the chaos of her internal emotional state.
Those who have taken the painful but rewarding journey of repentance and healing discover that while they may have wondered far from God’s will in their lives, He is the exact opposite from the angry punishing tyrant they feared. Rather they discover that God’s mercy and forgiveness are central to the Heart of Christ who is as St Paul shares, the refulgence of his glory,
the very imprint of his being. The moral teachings of the Christian faith against abortion are rooted not in a desire to restrict freedom or punish but out of love of our Heavenly Father for his precious daughters. The Lord is grieved by the death of his unborn children but also the damage to the hearts and souls of his daughters who experience this loss.
Braxton’s experience can inspire those on the front lines working to end abortion and encourage mothers and fathers to choose life. But it also touches on the great need for education and healing resources for those who suffer after abortion.
To read more about the impact abortion has on women’s lives, please read my book, “Recall Abortion.”